My little sis.

I guess this entry means that this blog will not just be about her. It will be about entries that I do not feel comfortable letting other people see. It will be entries that show me stripped bare at my most vunerable.

This entry will be about my little sister. She got married today. Of course I'm happy for her and glad that she won't be left on the shelf. Alas, it is also tinged with a lot of sadness. She's moving out to stay with her husband. I mean I've stayed with her for 24 years of my life. I'm really going to miss having her around.

I will always remember the fun I had with her when we were kids. I guess her tom-boyish-ness should be my fault as I led her on one male testosterone filled game after another when we were kids. I remember one incident where I lead her to fake taking a bath, even with fake shouts of fighting that we normally had when we were bathing together. The time taken to fake the whole thing and effort required were probably even more then taking an actual bath, but we had a blast.

I remember building castles using cushions and thread and bringing her on cycling trips to the playground. I remember playing make believe soldiers and monsters and being the monster so she could have fun killing me. I remember making her play with me even when all she wanted was to play with her dolls.

But things changed. I remember the incident that caused us to grow apart. So much so that the rift never really recovered and I never enjoyed a close relationship with my sister when we grew up. We never really confided in each other and never really spoke much. If I could turn back time, I would go back and reverse what I did that day and hope that things would have been different.

I remember that we were arguing, about what I remember not, but we ended up pushing each other and 1 particular shove from me caused her to fall back upon a cupboard and injure her ankle. She was furious with me for months and I couldn't be bothered to talk to her either. And since that fateful day, we just drifted apart.

I have always cared for her and loved her in my own way. I probably could have shown it a little better. But what's done is done, and I shall have to try to have a better relationship with her in the future.

In my heart, she is still the young little baby sister that I always had fun with. I will always remember her as such.

Right now I am fighting back tears and wishing that she was right here in the house with us all.

Ger, mei mei, ying zhao, I will miss you dearly.