Girl by the name of C

Her Corny Corniness

To think that it would be so quick a time when I'm back in this blog. I think I am sort of over Alice now but I don't think I ever want to talk to her ever again. It's too great a betrayal, what she did.

But this is not the story of Alice, it's the story of another girl. Her Corny Corniness. Her name start with C. Yes, I'm looking at you Chloe Lim Xin Hui! Haha, if you find this through Google, then this would be awkward.

I've been trying to meet more people online and managed to get to know here. Things started out well enough, we exchanged messages and got to know each other better. I really enjoyed her sense of humour and laughed numerous times at her messages. Then one day, it just stopped. As it so happened, this is going to turn out to be a rather recurrent theme.

Normally, when that happens, it simply means that the other party is not interested and couldn't be bothered to actually formulate a reply. But I think I was sufficiently enamored by her to send her a follow up message and thankfully she replied and we started hanging out.

To be fair, she started telling me about this other guy chasing her but I put not much stock into it. And then on the second date, she started to ask me things about why the other guy didn't kiss he. Um, was I getting friend-zoned?

It was so hard to tell, at times, she would tell me about how the other guy doesn't suit her. The feelings that I get from her are really good.

I guessed I totally mis-read the situation. Just a couple of days ago, she told me that she was attached. I was shocked. I think it was at that point of time, I realized how much I wanted her. I'm not entirely sure if it was the case of wanting that which I cannot have, or if I truly really wanted her to be mine. I wasn't sure if she accepted him because she felt she had no other choice. But whatever the reason maybe, after a little more probing from me, I realized that she genuinely liked this person. That he fulfilled 90% of her wants and needs in a partner. It was absolutely crushing.

But all I can do right now is to wish her all the best and hope she finds the happiness that she deserves. Maybe I'm a pussy for not fighting for what I want, but then again, after Alice, I don't want to put another guy through what I had to go through multiple times.

I'm not even sure I love Chloe, but I sure as well would liked to have tried. Ah well, cest la vie.