Not so confused

Not so confused right now, or even more confused? I guess I don't know, which would probably place me in the confused side...

For the past 2 days I have sent her an SMS each. She replied to each one and then when I replied, she didn't. Pretty obvious she wants to keep contact, but not get too close. Sigh. It reminds me of when we were at the end of the relationship.

I think she watched Music and Lyrics already, so I decided that I would go watch it myself, since there was no way I would be able to get her to watch it. It was actually good and a feel good movie at that, which went some way to helping me out of this current rut. I did feel good after the movie. But it also reminded me of the good times, when it would be the 2 of us watching it.

Now I'm considering going back into hiding from her. It hurts so much. I really haven't gotten over her. Why? She cheated on me. She cheated on others. So why do I still hold her so dear?

Today, this girl actually said "hello" to me. She was quite pretty and I guess in the past I did smile at her when I walked past. I did say "hi" back at her but stopped at that. Was I afraid to get to know another girl? I don't know. Or maybe I'm just shy.

God, why did this happen to me. Why couldn't I have just fallen in love with a girl and that be my last and only one.

God... how I wish...