It seems to be getting worse. My thoughts keep turning towards death and suicide. Images of slitting my wrist flash across my mind. My heart aches everywhere. There are just too many memories.
A cursory look at MSN shows that others are having the same problems. How many people out there are heart broken? My scenario might be pretty bad by normal standards, but I'm sure there are people out there who have to deal with extra-marital affairs etc. Your partner for life having another person. I don't think I would be able to handle such a thing. A small setback like this has already affected me so much.
Do I need help? I'm starting to think I am. Yet at the same time, a part of me tells me how stupid I am. I shaked my head when an army mate tried to commit suicide when his girlfriend broke up with him. Yet now I am having the same thoughts. Someone help me. I don't know who to turn to.
Sure people are sympathetic, and I'm sure some people understand my feelings enough. Yet everyone is apathetic, not raising a finger to help. I know that one should help oneself but I just feel so desolate. There seems to be no meaning in life. I want to retreat into my shell and have no contact with the outside world at all. Having fun doesn't seem to have any meaning anymore. It takes my mind away for a while and dulls the pain. But the pain is always back. Help. I need help.
More pain to dull the pain. Slitting my wrist? No idea. It sounds foolish, and yet strangely tempting.
Oh what fools we mortals be.
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